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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27671924">I don't have a choice and I'd still choose you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouKeepMeRight/pseuds/YouKeepMeRight'>YouKeepMeRight</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Bottom Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Canon Era, Elemental Magic, Fanfiction, Friends to Lovers, Gwen had run away with Lancelot after he saved her in Hengist's castle, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Sorry Morgana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:42:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,353</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27671924</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouKeepMeRight/pseuds/YouKeepMeRight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Arthur’s reign. When Arthur finally managed to fully comprehend Merlin, it had taken him some time to acknowledge the fact that his friend was something Arthur never could have predicted.<br/>An alternative ending for series four.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>189</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Merlin Holidays 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I don't have a choice and I'd still choose you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/alby_mangroves/gifts">alby_mangroves</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, this is my first fanfictions exchange ever!<br/>Dear Alby, it has been an honour to write for a Merthur goddess as you are. *makes curtsy* May the magic and excitement of the holiday season warm your days! Thank you for this opportunity. Title from “Poison &amp; Wine” by The Civil Wars</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Throughout his entire life, Arthur Pendragon had always learned the difference between knowing and acknowledging the hard way. For instance, he had known Gwen’s heart didn’t completely belong to him, but Arthur had only acknowledged it when she eloped with Lancelot after the business at Hengist's castle.</p><p>Another thing Arthur knew but wasn’t acknowledging was that there was something peculiar about his manservant. Maybe it was because Merlin seemed to him a living contradiction: brave yet timid, an idiot yet a wise man, clumsy yet graceful. When Arthur finally managed to fully comprehend Merlin, it had taken him some time to acknowledge the fact that his friend was something Arthur never could have predicted.</p><p>The revelation had happened in the caves outside Ealdor. During their countless adventures, Merlin had often been reckless. That was one of his many contradictions that Arthur feared the most. So, this time, Arthur decided to follow Merlin through the caves and leave Tristan and Isolde behind. There, in a clearing among the rocks, Arthur witnessed Merlin defeating Agravaine and his men with a simple flick of his hands.</p><p>Another contradiction, the biggest of all: his friend held the greatest and most terrible power in his hands.</p><p>Arthur stayed hidden behind a huge rock, his right palm on his mouth to hold in his screams, his left hand pressed to his chest to tame his thunderous heart. He stayed hidden until he remembered that as a king, he had duties towards Camelot and its people, and he decided his own business could wait a little longer. There was a war going on, after all.</p><p>Ultimately, Arthur was sorry about Morgana's spiralling fall towards the most hideous parts of magic, but she had now reached the point where she had to be stopped by any means. The king focused all his rage and frustration on the battle with Morgana’s army. The blade that Merlin helped him to find (wedged inside the stone with magic, Arthur was certain of it) was really an amazing weapon. With it, Arthur managed to inflict a mortal wound on Morgana.</p><p>That evening, when the worst was over, Arthur entered his chambers and found utter chaos. Among broken curtains and pieces of furniture stood Merlin, who was scratching his head like he couldn't decide where to begin. The moment Merlin noticed the king, a bright smile appeared on his face.</p><p>“I can’t believe everything is finally alright!” Merlin said, starting to pick up Arthur’s clothes scattered all over the floor. “The golden age of the kingdom can finally begin and...Arthur, what’s wrong?”</p><p>Merlin’s expression changed abruptly as he looked up to Arthur’s face. There wasn’t the slightest sign of joy, and Merlin stood, puzzled. The sorcerer knew what happened with Morgana wasn’t easy to accept. She was Arthur’s sister after all, and the witch had run away before anybody could see the severity of her wound. Moreover, even if Merlin managed to be convincing with the legend of the sword in the stone, Arthur didn’t seem completely certain of his own worth.</p><p>“Arthur...Sire, is there something I could do?”</p><p>“I think I’ll have an early night. That will be all for now.” Arthur dismissed his manservant coldly, and Merlin walked out of the room feeling like a hole was opening inside his chest.

</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>The next morning, Arthur decided to have some time alone. He woke up early and dressed with George’s help. The king left instructions with Sir Leon before leaving.</p><p>“I am sorry, Merlin, but the king told me he wants to be alone,” Leon said when the young warlock was running up the stairs towards Arthur’s chambers. “He told me explicitly he doesn’t want anyone with him right now." The hole inside Merlin’s chest opened up a little bit more.</p><p>Arthur rode until he found a nice spot beside a river. There were orange and yellow leaves on the ground, the temperature was chill but pleasant, and the only sound was the constant lapping of water against the rocks. Arthur dismounted his horse and kneeled beside the river. The moment his hands touched the crystal water, Arthur knew something was wrong. Brilliant lights reflected on the surface of the river, but that morning the sun was hidden behind the clouds.</p><p>“Merlin?” Arthur asked tentatively. “Is that you?”</p><p>“No great king, our lord is not here,” said a woman's sweet voice, echoing all around the water. “Don’t be afraid, we are here to help.”</p><p>“Who are you?” Arthur asked angrily, his hands flying automatically towards his sword.</p><p>“Don’t do that, great king. We are the Vilia, spirits of brooks and streams. We mean no harm.”</p><p>“I am done with magic. <em>Done!</em> Why can’t I lead an ordinary life and simply be a king?” Arthur sat on the grass, frustrated. When he lowered his hands to the ground, he inadvertently touched the water again, and suddenly the same strange light that covered the river’s surface began to cover his hands too.</p><p>“Don’t be alarmed. We are healing you,” the woman's voice said.</p><p>“What? Why? I am not wounded.” Arthur sat, frozen to the ground.</p><p>“Because our lord Merlin thinks you need help. Not for your body, but for your soul. He is worried about you, and so are several magical creatures linked with him,” the Vilia explained. “We are part of the basic elements from which Merlin takes his magic. We are healing you because Merlin wants to, but he can’t, not if you don’t understand.”</p><p>The mention of Merlin's name seemed to calm the king.</p><p>“Understand what?” Arthur groaned. “There’s nothing to understand! I find it hard to acknowledge this part of Merlin. It’s like I’m seeing a completely different person.”</p><p>“Keep talking,” the Vilia whispered.</p><p>Arthur continued to let out his doubts and thoughts for hours. The more he talked, the more the healing lights from the Vilia kept spreading on his skin, like a curative ointment on sore muscles. At the end of the morning, Arthur felt like he had come to understand a little more about his friend and magic.</p><p>Galloping towards the castle, Arthur decided to keep Merlin’s secret to himself. He knew now what kind of burden Merlin carried on his shoulders, and taking it away from the sorcerer all of a sudden could end up destroying the unsteady balance they had.</p><p>Arthur had one certainty: he was deeply fond of Merlin, so much that not even the sorcerer’s secret could make a difference.</p><p>When Arthur entered the courtyard, just before noon, he found Merlin sitting on the stairs of the castle. The warlock's haggard face seemed to light up a bit when he saw his king. Merlin stood up abruptly, running to meet Arthur and his horse. When he reached them, Merlin took the horse’s reins and caressed the animal’s face. Merlin looked up to Arthur and both of them simply nodded to each other, in a silent statement of forgiveness and affection.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>In the months that followed, Camelot flourished with a proper golden age. Under Arthur’s guide, the kingdom grew strong in peace and prosperity. Arthur’s way to solve the reign’s problems, so different from his father’s ways, was exactly what Camelot needed. During that time, Merlin stood always by Arthur’s side.</p><p>“Is there anything more I can do, Sire?” Merlin asked on a particularly cold winter night.</p><p>“Actually, yes, there is,” Arthur gestured to a chair in front of the fire near him. “Come, sit beside me.”</p><p>“What is it?” Merlin’s voice was tentative. They were still tip-toeing around each other, careful not to break the strange, delicate equilibrium between them.</p><p>“Nothing specific. I would just like to know your thoughts. About anything that crosses your mind.” Arthur’s statement was odd, but Merlin felt relieved he could talk to Arthur like this. For a brief moment, they weren’t just the king and his manservant.</p><p>Those brief moments began to happen almost every evening for weeks. Every time, Merlin and Arthur felt their bond grow stronger, even if Merlin never mentioned his magic.</p><p>“You know, there’s something I need to ask you about this morning council,” Merlin said one night, sitting on the floor in Arthur’s chambers with his limbs sprawled in front of the pleasant heat of the fire.</p><p>“You want to ask me about Sir Atwood, don’t you?” Arthur asked, his eyes focused on the brightness of the flames. Maybe this would be the moment of truth, Arthur thought. He went to sit on the carpet of fur, right next to Merlin.</p><p>“You guessed it. That thing you said to him, well, I felt bemused by your words.” Merlin admitted. “He accused that farmer of being a sorcerer and he even thought to have solid proof to confirm that. Nonetheless, you gave that poor man a fair trial. The word of a knight had never needed to be proven right or wrong. I’ve never seen you so resolute about a matter like that.” Merlin turned towards Arthur and looked into his eyes. “Why did you do that, Arthur?”</p><p>The king felt himself drowning inside the deep blue of Merlin’s eyes, and for a second he didn’t speak, mouth agape.</p><p>“I-” Arthur began to say. The king suddenly found himself on his knees, his hands searching for Merlin’s.</p><p>“Merlin, there’s something we need to talk about…” Arthur began to say. But a loud knock at the door interrupted him.</p><p>Sir Leon appeared on the threshold. “Sire, I am sorry, but we need you in the throne room, it’s a matter of urgency.”</p><p>When Arthur and Merlin arrived, a little group of knights was trying to comfort Sir Elyan, on his knees in front of the throne, his head between his hands.</p><p>“I can’t believe what I saw was real. It was...I couldn’t do anything...may the gods have mercy on their souls!” The man sobbed incoherently.</p><p>Sir Leon tentatively approached him. “My friend, tell the king what you just told us,” the blond knight encouraged him.</p><p>“Sire,” Sir Elyan began. But his speech was once again interrupted by heavy tears. Merlin used a calming spell on a glass of water and gave it to the terrified man, hoping to have some answer from him.</p><p>“Sire, our kingdom is endangered by a great threat,” the knight finally said when he regained composure. “Our patrol has been attacked near the Mountains of Isgaard. We were checking some caves that looked like a good hiding place for bandits when that...that <em>beast </em>attacked us!”</p><p>“What kind of beast?” Arthur asked. His brow furrowed in concern.</p><p>“From the account Sir Elyan gave, Sire, and from his wounds, I am afraid we are dealing with an Echidna” Gaius explained.</p><p>Merlin opened his eyes wide and exchanged a worried look with Gaius.</p><p>During these recent peaceful months, Merlin had had a lot of time to study Gaius's books. Among them, there was a volume about every magical creature on earth. The Echidna was one of the most terrible: it was a monster, half beautiful and seductive woman, half-snake. Its poison could paralyze every living creature, and it preyed on men.</p><p>While Arthur was discussing an attack plan with his knights, Merlin called Gaius aside. <em>"Deep down under a hollow rock far from the deathless gods and mortal man?</em> (1) The book you gave me describes the place where the Echidna lives a bit differently from Elyan's tale."</p><p>"Usually, that creature does live hidden from men," Gaius whispered back. "But it can be summoned by a powerful high priestess in her final moments to avenge her death," Gaius explained with terror in his old, foggy eyes. "Merlin, I am afraid Morgana’s dead and that monster won't stop until it has killed the one who is responsible for it. It is almost impossible to defeat."</p><p>"I'll work on that <em>‘almost,’</em>" Merlin said with a wink and a pat on Gaius's shoulder.</p><p>He ran once again to Arthur's side. "What's the plan, Sire?" Merlin asked.</p><p>"We will ride as soon as the sun rises, Merlin. Prepare the horses and your things." Arthur said solemnly. Time had come to unveil the final truth.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>The mountains were two days' ride away from Camelot and as soon as the sun set, the group set up camp inside the forest. Merlin was checking the campfire when Arthur approached him. The other knights had gone to sleep in their tents and the full moon was shining over the trees.</p><p>“Arthur, what’s the matter?” Merlin asked, turning towards the king. “Do you need my assistance? Is it about that thing you were going to tell me in your chambers?”</p><p>Arthur sat beside him on a rock and put his hand on his own forehead, pensive.</p><p>“No, I don’t need your assistance, Merlin. But, yes, it is about that," Arthur sighed. "I need you to trust me. Completely. Can you do that?” Arthur asked, locking his eyes with Merlin.</p><p>“I trust you with every fiber of my being,” Merlin declared, his eyes determined and fierce.</p><p>“Then I need you to tell me the truth,” Arthur said.</p><p>“What…” Merlin began to ask, but he was interrupted suddenly as archers hidden in the treetops began to shoot arrows on their camp.</p><p>“We are under attack!” Arthur screamed. As fast as they could, the knights were out of their tents, ready to fight for their king. Merlin threw himself on Arthur, willing to shield him with his own body if necessary. But Arthur couldn’t let him do that.</p><p>“Come on, you <em>idiot</em>!” Arthur grabbed Merlin by his sleeve and shoved him towards a safer spot.</p><p>“It seems the patrol was right about bandits hiding around here,” Merlin whispered out of breath, his back against an old tree, big enough to protect the both of them.</p><p>Arthur turned towards his friend, a dark shadow in his eyes. “Merlin, this isn’t exactly the way I wanted to tell you, but I need you to help me or I will lose my men and we won’t be able to defeat the Echidna,” Arthur grabbed Merlin by his shoulders. “You have to stop those archers. <em>Right now</em>!”</p><p>“What? How?” Merlin blabbed incoherently.</p><p>“With magic,” Arthur exhaled, putting a gloved hand on Merlin’s lips to stop any protest. “Yes, I know. Hush now, there’s no time for that. I need you to break the branches on where the archers are standing. Can you do that?”</p><p>Merlin trembled, then he simply nodded, and lifted a hand towards the trees.</p><p><em>“Forbearnan firgenholt,”</em> Merlin whispered, and his eyes turned the colour of melted gold.</p><p>Arthur had just a few seconds to stare, stunned, at Merlin and the outcome of his magic. When the bandits had all fallen befuddled on the ground, the king and his soldiers took advantage of the situation to engage an attack.</p><p>“For the love of Camelot!” The knights shouted, wielding their swords boldly.</p><p>As fast as they came, the reckless bandits who weren’t killed escaped the camp. While praising his men for their work, Arthur didn’t notice Merlin was no longer among them until he turned around and realized he was alone.</p><p>“You need to rest now, my brothers. Have a little more sleep before sunrise,” Arthur murmured to the knights, and he went to look for his friend.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>Arthur found Merlin standing on the grass not far from the camp, his hands closed in two tight fists, his whole body trembling.</p><p>“How long?” the warlock asked in a feeble voice, his back to Arthur.</p><p>“Since you defeated Agravaine and his army.” Arthur’s voice was calmed and controlled, despite the tumult he felt inside his heart.</p><p>“That long?” Merlin’s tone lowered an octave. “You knew the truth for <em>that long</em> and you didn’t tell me about it, not even <em>once</em>!” Merlin’s voice rose as he spoke, shouting in a rough voice. He turned towards Arthur, his eyes swollen with angry tears.</p><p>Arthur knew he should be afraid, but took a step towards his friend anyway. “Merlin, listen…”</p><p>“No, don’t move!” Merlin begged. “I am not sure I can control my magic right now, I don’t know what may happen.”</p><p>“I don’t care if you hurt me, Merlin, as long as you listen to me,” Arthur said, taking another little step towards the warlock.</p><p>“You think I want to hurt you?” Merlin asked. A tear was slowly running down his cheek. “Arthur, all I have ever done is used my magic to protect you. That’s my only purpose. How can you think...?” Merlin’s voice cracked. He sounded so defeated, Arthur’s heart swelled with affection towards him.</p><p>Without thinking about what he was doing, Arthur took Merlin by his shoulders and crushed their bodies together in an impetuous, almost desperate hug. The metal of Arthur’s armour was hard and cold against Merlin’s cheekbone, but Merlin held tightly to the chainmail anyway.</p><p>“It took me a while to finally come to terms with who you really are,” Arthur said, his voice muffled when his lips brushed Merlin’s forehead. “Sometimes, I am still scared. But believe me when I say I have never been afraid of you. The only thing that scares me is losing you because of magic. Like I lost Morgana.” It was Arthur who was trembling now.</p><p>“Morgana chose the wrong path in her journey through magic,” Merlin explained, his forehead now against Arthur’s. “I wouldn’t lose myself because all I will ever do is follow you. If I ever get lost, we would be lost together.” Merlin promised.</p><p>“Come now, let’s go back to the tent. We need to talk, and get some rest afterwards.” Arthur murmured. The two of them walked towards the camp, never leaving the other’s side, their hands brushing at every step.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>Once inside the tent, Merlin felt exhausted both physically and emotionally. He could barely stand on his feet. “I’ll remove your armour, sire,” he said with his eyes half-closed.</p><p>“Nonsense, Merlin. You are already half asleep. I’ll manage on my own,” Arthur told him with a tired smile while removing his left vambrace.</p><p>“No, Arthur, please, let me!” Merlin pleaded, his eyes now wide open. “The fact that I am a sorcerer doesn’t change who I am. I told you once, I am happy to be your servant till the day I die.” Merlin’s hands were already fumbling with Arthur’s armour. Arthur let him do it, pleased by their resumed closeness.</p><p>“The Vilia told me everything, you know?” Arthur murmured.</p><p>Merlin stopped his movements and lifted his head in disbelief. “Those tiny little traitors! I knew I couldn’t trust them when I confided with them a long time ago,” Merlin admitted grudgingly.</p><p>“You confide with spirits and not with your king?” Arthur raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Shut up. You have no idea how many times I wanted to.” Merlin continued to help Arthur out of his armour.</p><p>“Did you?” Arthur asked softly.</p><p>“Of course I did,” Merlin answered firmly, his eyes focused on the joints that held the armour’s parts together. “Every time magic was involved in our lives, I wanted to tell you the truth. The problem is, I know how much your father’s ideas are settled in you. You shouldn’t have to choose between family and friends. I didn’t want to put you in that position.”</p><p>“That’s what worried you?” Arthur asked when finally Merlin had divested him of every piece of armour. Arthur shook his head. “You never cease to amaze me, Merlin. You hold in your hands the most terrifying of powers, and yet, you remain the most humble man I’ve ever met. How?”</p><p>Merlin’s smile was crooked and unhappy. “Magic isn’t terrifying, Arthur. Magic can be beautiful. Breathtakingly beautiful.”</p><p>“I am sorry Merlin, I didn’t mean to offend you,” Arthur offered, caressing Merlin’s arm lightly with his right hand. “I understand there’s so much more I need to learn about it. I am not scared of it, I promise. Not if it is in <em>your </em>hands, at least.”</p><p>Merlin answered with a tired smile, and Arthur felt bolder. He wanted that night to be a happy memory for both of them.</p><p>“Merlin, I know you are exhausted, but I have one last request,” Arthur murmured, taking Merlin’s hands in his. “Show me how beautiful your magic can be,” Arthur said, his eyes glistening with emotion. “Please, for me,” he begged.</p><p>Merlin nodded, his pale, sharp face radiating anticipation. “Sit there with me,” he instructed, and for once Arthur did as he was told without hesitation.</p><p>They sat on the floor cross-legged, one in front of the other. Merlin focused his attention on his hands, although it was quite difficult to tear his eyes apart from Arthur. The king’s features were especially heart-stopping in the dim light of the tent.</p><p>“<em>Hoppaþ nu swilce swá lieg fleogan,</em>” Merlin breathed, his eyes turning once again into two little pools of melted gold. Arthur felt like he could drown in them.</p><p>As soon as Merlin moved his hands, all the little fires of the candles inside the tent began to fly around them, as if they were dancing. When Merlin made them form a shape like the Pendragon crest, Arthur held his breath.</p><p>“Beautiful,” Arthur whispered, raising his hand as if to touch the crest.</p><p>Merlin felt his magic vibrating with Arthur’s presence. “My magic is...content. I can feel it tremble with joy because of you, Arthur,” Merlin explained.</p><p>“And what about you? Are you happy, Merlin?” Arthur asked, turning towards the warlock. Merlin felt Arthur’s gaze consuming him, like he was inside the fire. The distraction caused his magic to stop working, and in an instant, all the little fires flew back to their respective candles.</p><p>“I am delighted,” Merlin took a deep breath. “Now, though, we need to rest. We have a long day ahead,” Merlin asserted.</p><p>As much as Arthur wanted to stay in that moment forever, he knew Merlin was right.</p><p>“Well then, goodnight, Merlin,” the king said, standing up.</p><p>“Goodnight, sire,” Merlin replied, his eyes not leaving Arthur’s figure until he was lying in his bed.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>The sun had just come over the horizon when Merlin woke up. He stirred in the chilling air of the early morning and felt instantly crushed by a wave of emotions from the night before. Arthur knew about his magic. Arthur actually <em>approved </em>his magic. Just the thought of it was enough to make Merlin grin from ear to ear.</p><p>A loud snore made him turn towards the king, who was still sound asleep, his arms folded in an unnatural position over his head. “How can you be beautiful, even like that?” Merlin whispered. Then, he adjusted his clothes and moved closer to Arthur’s bed.</p><p>“Rise and shine, lazy daisy!” Merlin crooned lightly.</p><p>Arthur woke up abruptly and fell from his bed in a tangle of sheets. “What the hell, <em>Mer</em>lin!”</p><p>Merlin laughed whole-heartedly and Arthur joined him. After they regained their composure, Arthur rose from his bed and they shared a look of understanding.</p><p>Merlin became suddenly serious. “We are going to defeat it, Arthur,” he promised. “And I am going to protect you, no matter what.”</p><p>“I presume that the monster’s magic is strong. I don’t want you to be reckless and risk your life,” Arthur replied.</p><p>“It doesn’t matter. Your life is worth a hundred of mine.”</p><p>“Of course it matters, you damn fool!” Arthur responded vehemently. “I don’t want to lose you. I <em>can’t </em>lose you.”</p><p>Merlin’s eyes widened at those words. He lifted his hands as if to reach Arthur, but stopped them mid-air and decided to pick up Arthur’s clothes instead. Merlin didn’t want to let his feelings cloud his mind during these uncertain moments.</p><p>“You won’t lose me, Sire. Time to get ready,” Merlin said firmly, holding up Arthur’s armour.</p><p>Arthur nodded, trying desperately to believe in Merlin’s pledge.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>After a few hours' ride, Merlin, Arthur, and his knights arrived where Sir Elyan mentioned the patrol had encountered the monster last time. The sky was heavy with clouds and the air felt cold and misty. Merlin instantly sensed something peculiar about this place, his magic tingling under his skin like a warning.</p><p>“Sire, I think we are close,” the warlock said after they dismounted their horses.</p><p>“Now I understand the reason for all those weird feelings of yours in the past,” Arthur declared in an amazed voice. “I suspected you never were as much of a fool as you seemed. So that was another lie.” Despite Arthur speaking with mirth in his voice, Merlin felt an implied reprimand in his tone.</p><p>“No, it’s just another part of my charm,” Merlin replied, winking at Arthur. The king stumbled on a root, causing a deep chuckle from Merlin.</p><p>“Sire, I think we found something,” came Sir Leon’s voice from the distance. When Arthur and Merlin joined him, they came across a huge opening in the rocks, black as the night, so deep that no light seemed to reach inside.</p><p>Arthur took a step forward. “Prepare for the worst,” he murmured to the group, his right hand clutching his sword. Merlin fell into step beside him.</p><p>As soon as the group stepped inside the cave, a guttural growl rumbled from the depth of it. The monster had probably sensed that the one who killed the high priestess who had summoned it was near. Merlin wrung his fingers, his eyes sparkling with flashes of gold.</p><p>“Careful, Merlin,” Arthur admonished him. “I don’t want the Echidna to know what kind of power I have by my side, yet.”</p><p>“It already knows,” Merlin growled. “And I don’t care if the whole world discovers who I really am, as long as I get to protect you. You are invaluable to me, Arthur.”</p><p>Arthur felt himself flushing at the implication of Merlin’s words. He wanted to stop time and reply in earnest to Merlin’s passion. But once again, duty was calling.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>At the end of the tortuous tunnels, there was a clearing where natural light filtered through a huge opening above them. There, they found the Echidna. Its snake-half was hidden in the dark, against the damp rocks, while the woman-half came slowly into the light, towards the knights.</p><p>“I was waiting for you,” the monster’s voice was hypnotic and seductive, but the shivers it gave the warlock were of an entirely different kind.</p><p>Immediately, some of the knights began to walk stiffly towards the Echidna, their eyes wide and unseeing.</p><p>“Leave my men alone!” Arthur shouted. “It’s me who you want, I am the one responsible for Morgana’s death.”</p><p>“Oh, I know,” the Echidna said with an evil grin, luring the knights closer. “But my mistress explicitly instructed me to tear your heart apart before killing you. What better way would there be than to slaughter your brothers in arms?” It mocked, while the other part of the monster came slithering out of the dark with a hiss. The daunting head of a serpent was attached at the end of its tail.</p><p>“I thought Morgana was wiser,” Merlin replied, taking a step towards the beast. The creature stopped moving, tilting its woman-head like a curious cat. Arthur reached out to the warlock to stop him, but Merlin looked at his king with such fearless confidence that Arthur took a step back. Merlin’s eyes lit up.</p><p>The Echidna now focused its attention on the young sorcerer. “So <em>you</em> are the diamond in the rough my mistress told me about,” the monster hissed. “I am glad you are here, too. I know how valuable you are for my mortal enemy. I am going to have so much fun in taking you away from your precious king!”</p><p>Merlin moved his hands in a mesmeric way, conjuring little spheres of blue fire. “I don’t think so,” he growled as he began to attack the monster with magic.</p><p>Instantly both the Echidna’s halves turned towards the sorcerer. While the snake half took every blow with unnatural growls, the woman-half was trying to conjure a counterspell, moving its long fingers in the air.</p><p>Merlin knew that wasn’t his most powerful spell, but it should have been enough for Arthur to approach the snake-half and do as they had planned: to use Excalibur and its magic to cut that head and eliminate the danger of being poisoned.</p><p>When Arthur was closer enough, Merlin shot a bigger sphere. “Now!” he yelled, as Arthur jumped forwards and effectively cut the snakehead.</p><p>The monster let out a bloody scream and it's magic burst out like an explosion. The power of that was enough to throw Merlin, Arthur and all his men to the ground. The Echidna was absolutely furious, and crawled on its hands towards the unconscious king.</p><p>“No!” Merlin screamed, trying to reach for Arthur. The explosion had sent Merlin far back against a rock and probably broken some of his bones. The warlock’s vision was blurred as pain tore his body apart.</p><p>Merlin felt himself slowly losing consciousness, so he desperately summoned the rest of his energy to call for their last hope.</p><p>
  <em>“O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!”</em>
</p><p>Merlin closed his eyes and succumbed to sleep.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>“Wake up, for goodness sake, wake up, Merlin!” Arthur kneeled on the ground, cradling a senseless Merlin in his arms while tenderly shaking him.</p><p>“Sire, I think, uhm,” Sir Leon said in a tentative voice patting Arthur on his shoulder. “I think the dragon wants to help you.”</p><p>Behind them, a white dragon was purring happily. It was wagging its tail like a puppy, as if there wasn’t a huge, terrifying creature lying dead because of the dragon’s ferocious attack a few moments before.</p><p>“Can you heal him?” Arthur asked in awe. The white dragon approached the king and nuzzled his neck. Then, he breathed a warm wind towards the duo and Merlin instantly stirred in Arthur’s arms.</p><p>“What...what happened?” Merlin was dizzy but alive and warm again. Arthur held him tighter, taking hold of his wrist and placing his lips on his pulse point. “The sound of your heart beating again is the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard. You frightened me to death, clotpole!”</p><p>“That’s my word,” Merlin tried to protest feebly, but his speech was interrupted by the white dragon, who now seemed eager to nuzzle his neck too.</p><p>Merlin giggled. “Aithusa stop, you are tickling me,” he complained but kept caressing the dragon’s head nonetheless. “I need you to help the knights too, Aithusa. Can you do that?” the warlock asked. The white dragon emitted a happy throaty sound and tugged the still incredulous Sir Leon by the chainmail, walking him towards the other knights.</p><p>Arthur chuckled softly. “Leon is never going to recover from the experience of being walked around by a dragon.”</p><p>“Wait until he finds out I am the last dragonlord,” Merlin replied while he slowly rose to his feet. “He will never believe this gangly boy manages to command those creatures.”</p><p>“Oh, I bet he will after what you did here today,” Arthur was still on his knees in front of Merlin. The king lowered his voice. “I am astounded by your power.”</p><p>“Believe me, you haven’t seen anything yet.” Merlin lifted Arthur’s chin with two fingers. “Now rise, my lord, it’s time to go home.”</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>Camelot welcomed the victorious group back with a magnificent celebration. During the feast, every knight received special recognition for his commitment. Even if Arthur couldn’t publicly announce the importance of Merlin’s magic for the outcome of the quest and for the future protection of the kingdom, the monarch managed to give him a special gift anyway.</p><p>Arthur stood up after the last round of toasts. “I want to announce an important change in this court from this evening on,” he said, holding Merlin’s gaze. “After what happened with The Lady Morgana, I have understood that hate and disdain always pay back in kind. The only way for our kingdom to live in peace is to accept magic as a fundamental part of our world.”</p><p>Some members of the court began to grumble. “Maybe the king has drunk too much wine,” someone said. But Merlin didn’t pay them attention. The only sounds he cared about now was blood pumping in his veins and the litany inside his head that kept repeating <em>Arthur, my lord, my king, thank you</em>.</p><p>When the feast was over, Arthur retired to his chambers and removed his armour with George’s help. Then, he asked George to fetch Merlin.</p><p>After twenty minutes, George came back alone and out of breath.</p><p>“I can’t find him anywhere, Sire,” the servant huffed. “Not even the court physician knows where his ward is. I’ve asked everyone I know!”</p><p>Arthur felt himself panic for the longest thirty seconds of his life, then he recalled what had happened the last time Merlin disappeared after a feast like that. Last year, during Yule celebrations, Arthur had found Merlin on the roof just above his chambers, looking for the changed stars in the winter sky. Arthur had reprimanded him for his careless act, not recognising the actual feelings hidden behind his anger. Now, he knew what he had to do.</p><p>“Thank you, George, I think I know where to find him. Leave me for the night,” Arthur ordered. George exited the king chambers with a pompous bow.</p><p>The moment the door closed, Arthur ran towards the small window near his bed. He stuck his head out and looked up. “Merlin, you absolute moron, come down!”</p><p>“Is that an order, sire?” Merlin asked, popping out from the rooftop with a devilish grin.</p><p>“Yes, and I order you to be careful, too, I don’t want to see the pavement of the courtyard painted with your blood!” Arthur replied, concerned.</p><p>“And if I don’t obey you,” Merlin continued to tease, “are you going to kill me?”</p><p>With a flash of gold in his eyes, Merlin made himself fly towards Arthur’s chambers and inside its window. The warlock landed elegantly on his feet, right in front of the king.</p><p>“Gods, you’ll be the death of me,” Arthur muttered, running a hand through his glorious blond hair.</p><p>“Likewise,” Merlin answered, his penetrating eyes turning blue once again. “The things you said before, Arthur, the way you looked at me - how was I supposed to survive <em>that</em> without a warning? I needed some fresh air to clear my thoughts.”</p><p>Arthur looked confused. “Why? Did you think I was joking?”</p><p>Merlin shook his head. “No dollophead, your intentions were perfectly clear. I was afraid I couldn’t hold myself back anymore if I stayed longer under your fierce, passionate glare.”</p><p>“You-” Arthur began, but stopped himself when Merlin raised a hand to brush his cheek with the sweetest caress. Arthur gulped. “You don’t need to hold yourself back anymore, Merlin.”</p><p>“I know,” the warlock murmured, and he kissed Arthur on the lips.</p>
<hr class="hr"/><p>Merlin and Arthur kissed like they were dying of thirst. They kissed with mouths wide open, the wet sound of their moist lips interrupted only by their occasional throaty and desperate whimpers.</p><p>“You have no idea,” Arthur breathed in between the kisses, “how long I have waited for you.”</p><p>“<em>You</em> have waited for me?” Merlin stopped himself, his hands still entangled in Arthur’s hair. “Arthur, you don’t know what I’ve been through, all these years. I’ve felt so lonely.” Merlin’s voice was low but resolute. “Now that you know everything, about my magic, about what I feel...it’s like I am whole once again.”</p><p>“Two sides of the same coin.”</p><p>“Where did you hear that phrase?” Merlin asked in a suspicious tone. “Did the Vilia tell you about Killgarah?”</p><p>“I’ve no idea who you are talking about,” Arthur explained, caressing Merlin’s temple. “I overheard your mother tell you something along that line, long ago. I’ve never understood the true meaning of that, not until now.”</p><p>“Is it your royal confused way of telling me you feel something for me?” Merlin asked with a gentle and languorous smile, his hands now restlessly caressing Arthur’s back.</p><p>“Feel <em>something </em>is an understatement. I feel <em>everything </em>for you, Merlin. I feel every kind of love the poets wrote about, every form of desire, towards you,” Arthur sighed.</p><p>“My love,” Merlin murmured, his lips brushing against the other’s ones. Then Merlin moved his head to the side of Arthur’s neck, his plumped lips now torturing the sweet skin below Arthur’s ear. “Can I take you to bed? I want you to be mine, I want us to become one.”</p><p>“Yes,” Arthur agreed fervently, “Yours.”</p><p>After a few minutes of tangling in each other's clothes, the two managed to become naked and lay one on top of the other. However, they weren’t able to lie on Arthur’s bed, for their blind passion forced them to settle for the white fur in front of the fireplace.</p><p>“Those hands never cease to amaze me,” Arthur murmured, arching under Merlin’s touches. “So powerful, and yet so gentle.”</p><p>“Have you seen yours recently?” Merlin lifted his head from Arthur’s hips, where he was worshipping a particularly erotic spot just over the king’s groin.</p><p>“Those rings you keep adorning your fingers with are going to drive me crazy,” Merlin continued, and just to prove his words, he took Arthur’s wrist and placed Arthur’s fingers on his lips.</p><p>Arthur turned them around so he could be on top and take charge of the situation. With his index finger still inside Merlin’s mouth, he moved closer to his lover’s face and used the same finger to part those luscious lips. They both moaned loudly before kissing once again with more ardour.</p><p>“Keep your word,” Arthur pleaded when they parted to breathe. “Make me yours.”</p><p>“Yes, my Lord,” Merlin agreed. He began to prepare Arthur with such sweetness that Arthur felt himself on the verge of tears a couple of times.</p><p>“It’s enough Merlin, please, I can’t wait anymore,” Arthur squirmed underneath him.</p><p>“Magic always told me I don’t get to choose,” Merlin said, positioning himself. “But I will always choose you above everything, my love.”</p><p>With another devoted kiss, Merlin finally became one with his one true love.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I might have altered the mythological figure of the Echidna a bit. Sorry, Hesiod (1). Inspiration for the sex scene from here: <a href="url">https://archiveofourown.org/works/3908578</a> (seriously Alby, you have magic in your hands, your drawings are astonishing.)<br/>I have to end this with a big, shouted THANK YOU to the most patient, kind, brilliant Beta ever: <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/mother_of_lions">Isabella</a> you are precious! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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